


Dust in the Wind

by robin_writes



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: After the Island, Broken Oliver, F/M, Felicity goes by City, Homelessness, drug addict felicity, homeless felicity, homeless roy, homeless veteran digg, team arrow if they were all homeless and didn't want save the city
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-01 18:13:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17249039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robin_writes/pseuds/robin_writes
Summary: Sometimes because of what happened on Lian Yu, Oliver Queen, resurrected billionaire, would go and sleep on the streets. He was far more comfortable there than at the Queen manor. On the streets he meets many people, becomes friends with a few; Diggle, a homeless army vet, Roy, a kid who reminds him of his sister - argumentative and spunky, and City, a blonde girl who has lived through almost as much as he has.





	1. Pancakes and Mysteries

**Author's Note:**

> The title is for the Kansas song 'Dust in the Wind'

Oliver

The first night he was home he didn’t sleep. Oliver knew why. The house buzzed with technology, the bed was too soft, the clothes were too soft and he couldn’t shut his head off. He never thought he would, but he missed Lian Yu. He missed the silence and sleeping out of necessity rather than excess. He missed hearing Sara or Slade or Shado or Yao Fei’s breathing nearby. He missed having people around at night.

Thea was in the house and so was his mother and more often than not, Walter was there too. And the numerous people that worked in the house, but there were doors and there were walls and he couldn’t hear them breathing.

More than once, Oliver climbed out of the bed and noiselessly went into Thea’s room to listen to her breathe. He fell asleep to the rhythm, lying on the wooden floor next to her bed. But he was always awake before she was and he headed back into his own room.

He slept one night in three. Moira could see through his lies when she asked if he slept well, and Thea noticed the dark rings around his eyes. Oliver had to come up with another solution. He couldn’t continue like this.

So one day, a few weeks after being rescued by fisherman on Lian Yu, Oliver went to a thrift store. He bought old, ratty, cheap clothes that didn’t fit him. There wasn’t much but it was enough. The woman at the counter looked at him strangely, recognising him and wondering why he would be buying clothes that should’ve gone in the trash instead of her store. He smiled but didn’t give an explanation.

That night, after Thea had gone to bed, Oliver pulled off his expensive clothes, folding them neatly and dragged the paper bag out from under his bed. He chose a pair of baggy, ripped jeans. They weren’t the type of jeans ripped by a machine, they were ripped from wear. He pulled out a dark hoodie, the colour faded a little. 

After he changed, he grabbed the backpack he had picked up at the store as well. He filled it with some money, not much, a few bottles of water and a tin of beans from the pantry. Homeless people eat beans, right?

His phone was left abandoned in his bedroom as he slipped into the pair of trainers he had muddied earlier in the day. They were from before the island, so they were an old brand but they looked too expensive not to cover them in mud and dirt.

All set, Oliver Queen donned his hood and slipped out of the house, heading straight for the Glades. It was a long walk. But he had built up stamina over the last five years. 

He walked through alleys and into the bad side of town. Before today, he never knew the Glades had a bad part, he thought it was all bad.

Oliver stumbled upon a homeless camp in one of the alleyways. It was large, maybe thirty or so people living in the one small area. But it also welcomed him more than his bed back home did.

He stepped through, trying not to disturb anybody and made his way to the other end of the alley. It wasn’t a dead end, there was a small passage to the next alley along, and he sat. 

Oliver took his bag off, using it as a makeshift pillow and then laid down, looking up into the sky. He missed being able to see the sky at night.

There was a cough from next to him, Oliver turned to see a large black man with as many toned muscles as he had. “You’re new.” The man said. Oliver nodded. “I’m John Diggle, but most people just call me Digg.” He extended his hand toward Oliver. Oliver shook it.  
“I’m… Tommy. Tommy King.” It was a stupid alias, but he couldn’t think of anything better.   
“I know who you are.” Digg said. Oliver froze. Maybe he hadn’t been as careful as he thought. “I won’t say anything though.” Oliver exhaled with relief. “I couldn’t believe it at first, but now looking at you sitting here. I get it. You have the look.”  
“What look?” Oliver asked.  
“Like you belong here. Like you’ve seen things. Hell you’ve probably seen a lot more than me and I was in the military for years.”  
“You’re a vet?” He asked.  
“Yep. There are a lot of vets out here, Tommy King. Maybe you’re one too. You sure look like you’ve been through a war.” Despite calling him Tommy, Oliver was certain that Diggle knew exactly who he was.  
“Of sorts.” Oliver nodded.  
“You need anything I’m always around. Most people know where to find me.” Diggle stood and disappeared down the alley, probably heading to sleep.

Oliver turned over, it only took a few moments before he was asleep.

He slept better than he had in ages. The hard ground beneath his back and the chill that ran through his bones settled him. It was familiar.

The sun rose as he shuffled to sit up. Thea and his mother wouldn’t be awake for a few more hours, he had some time. With that time, Oliver watched.

He watched the actual homeless people waking up, a few collecting their belongings and leaving, but most tried to find some food. He saw a woman not too far from where he sat. She was forty at the most, but he could distinctly make out every single bone. She was starving to death out here while he lived up in his castle and threw out food he didn’t want.

Oliver hated himself for it. He reached into his backpack and pulled out the tin of beans. Standing, he made his way over to her. “Hi, I’m Tommy. I thought you probably needed this more than I do.” He passed her the tin and she smiled brightly.  
“Thank you Tommy.” He turned around to leave. “Wait.” She said. Oliver turned back. The woman sorted through her own bag and pulled something out. She held it out to Oliver.

In her palm was a woven bracelet. She had obviously made it herself and it was the most precious gift he had ever been given. If Oliver had any doubts about this, they all disappeared with the bracelet.

“Would you tie it for me?” He asked, extending his wrist. The woman smiled warmly and wrapped the woven strings around his wrist, tying it off. “Thank you…?”  
“Sofia.” She said.  
“Thank you Sofia.”

Oliver caught Digg’s eye at the end off the alley and hoisted his backpack over his shoulder. He walked down, catching up to the veteran. “Sleep well?” Digg asked.  
“I did.” Oliver said honestly.  
“Are you gonna hang around for a bit or head home?”  
“I have a few hours to kill.”  
“I have to make my rounds.” Digg said.  
“Rounds?” He asked, not sure what Digg was referring to.  
“Every day I check up on people. Most of them I won’t find but I make a note of the people I don’t see, and if I don’t see them for a week, I’ll head into the local police station, file a report. Nothing ever comes of it, I don’t know a lot of details about everyone but once I saved a girl’s life. City, she was missing for a week. I reported it, I guess she has family nearby and it matched a report filed by her family a few years ago. The police went looking for her and found her OD’d.”  
“She go back to her family?”  
“No. She was in hospital for a while, but she’s back out on the street.” Digg looked sad but took out his notebook and started looking. They walked for a while, peering down alleys and asking after people. He was trying to keep them all safe, Oliver realised. And Digg trusted him enough to help, even after knowing who he was. Oliver smiled.

 

Felicity

Felicity wasn’t far from the 12th street shelter. She slept in an alcove by the abandoned library. It was maybe a twenty minute walk. She sighed, imagining taking a shower. Felicity packed up her stuff, rolling her thin, scratchy blanket up and putting it all in her backpack. She walked to the shelter. 

It wasn’t as busy as it usually was and there was no line for the shower. She put her stuff into a locker and took out some clean clothes. 

Felicity groaned at the feeling of the hot water hitting her skin. It was heaven. She scrubbed at her skin with the honey scented body wash, glancing over the track marks on her arms. And then she washed her hair. It was a mousy brown colour, she always thought it would look better blonde like her mother’s hair, but she would never spend money on dye when she could barely afford to feed herself.

After her shower, she pulled on clean jeans that were hers before, so they fit her perfectly. And a plain army green ribbed sweater that she bought because it looked warm. It was.

Felicity hadn’t seen Digg in three days, he would be worried, so she headed for where she knew he walked his route.

It took her a while, she was on the opposite side of town, but Felicity came across Digg walking with someone she had never met before. “Hey Digg.” She called out her presence before she snuck up on him, he could still be a bit jumpy on his bad days.  
“City!” He smiled and crossed her name out in his little notebook.  
“Who’s your friend?” She asked, laughing and linking her arm through his.  
“This is Tommy.” Digg said. “Tommy, City. City, Tommy.” Felicity stuck her hand out for Oliver to shake, he did, smiling at her exuberance. “Why’re you so cheerful?” Digg asked.  
“Can’t I just be happy to be alive?” She asked.  
“Are you-?” Digg raised his eyebrows at her.  
“I’m high on life and good showers, not heroine Diggle.” Despite her words, she continued to smile at him.  
“You wanna ride that high to IHOP City?” Oliver asked.  
“Why? It’s not like we could afford it.”  
“I’m buying if you answer a few questions I have about where’s okay to stay.” Oliver said.  
“Sure, free pancakes.” Felicity smiled and hurried off in the direction of the nearest IHOP.  
“She’s something.” Oliver said to Digg.  
“She sure is.” Digg said.

The three walked into IHOP a few minutes later. They didn’t look too out of place, none of them were that dirty, but occasionally the waitress would look over to see if they were still there. Oliver guessed she was wondering if they could actually pay for the food.

Felicity ordered chocolate chip pancakes, Diggle went for the plain ones with strawberries and Oliver ordered waffles with maple syrup. The way Digg and Felicity were eating made it look like they weren’t sure when they would get to eat next. They probably weren’t. So when Felicity finished quickly, Oliver slid over the other half of his waffles. She rewarded him with a huge grin and Digg chuckled.

“You’re new to the streets.” Felicity said.  
“I am.” Oliver nodded, he wasn’t going to lie to them.  
“You should learn to be more frugal with your money.” She said and Digg choked on his food. “Not that I’m not grateful. How can we help?” She asked.  
“Where are the main spots for sleeping?” Oliver asked.

Digg started by listing all of the main hotspots and large camps around the Glades. Felicity cut in here and there to warn him about turf wars or smaller camps that were safer. “Where do you stay?” He asked her.  
“Anywhere as long as I’m alone. I get freaked out by other people moving about at night.” Felicity said. “A different place most nights.” Oliver nodded, understanding that she didn’t trust him yet. That was okay, as long as she was fed and happy, he was happy.

They moved on to describing where each of the local shelters were, but Oliver figured he wouldn’t really need to use them. He could easily go home to shower and wash his clothes. And he definitely did not want talk or group therapy.

Oliver left the table to pay the bill and Felicity turned to Digg. “Do you trust him?” She asked, she trusted Digg’s judgement.  
“I do. He’s had a hard time for a while, I think something like this was bound to happen, you know?” Digg said.

They fell into silence when Oliver came back to the table. Felicity considered him for a moment. He was a mystery, wielding money like he had a lot of it. Felicity hated mysteries. With her determination to solve the mystery that was Tommy, the three left the restaurant. “I have to finish my rounds. I’ll see you both around.” Digg peeled off the small group and headed back.  
“What kind of name is City anyway?” Oliver said.  
“A nickname.”  
“What does it mean?”  
“Nothing, my name was Felicity. City’s just shorter.”  
“That’s a pretty name, Felicity.” Felicity felt a shock go through her, no one’s called her Felicity since she was in the hospital four years ago.   
“I prefer City.” She said, not wanting him to call her Felicity again. It came with too much baggage, too many parental expectations. “You don’t look like a Tommy.”  
“Yeah, that’s not really my name either.”  
“What is your name?” If he could push her, she was allowed to push him. Those were the rules.  
“Oliver.” He said. And she was struck with how much it suited him. “I prefer Oliver, but I think out here I should be Tommy. There’s no expectations for Tommy.” And he hit the nail on the head exactly.

The mismatched pair walked in silence for a little while, and then Oliver turned to Felicity. “I have to go now. But I hope to see you soon.” At his words, Felicity smiled. Oliver walked left and Felicity walked right.

She turned around and waved at him. He turned back and waved too, a smile on his face as well.


	2. Peaches and Heels

Oliver

Oliver tries sleeping in his own bed for a few nights. It doesn’t work. He ends up tossing and turning, trying to get comfortable on the most comfortable mattress he’s ever been on. Except it’s not comfortable because it’s not packed dirt or gravel. 

He gets maybe two hours of good sleep across the three nights, and he’s like a ghost in the mornings. His eyes burn and his skin pale. Moira clearly wanted to say something but didn’t, that didn’t stop Thea though. “You party too much.” She said over toast one morning.  
“Excuse me?” Oliver said slowly, not understanding.  
“You look hungover.”  
“I’m not hungover Thea, I’m just tired.” He rubbed his eyes with his fingers again, only making it worse.  
“Well maybe you should try sleeping then.” She said. He tried not to get angry at her, she didn’t know, but it was difficult because he was exhausted and his impulse control was all over the place.  
“Maybe I will.” Oliver stood abruptly, his chair legs scraping the wooden floor as he pushed against the table. He left the room, hearing his mother whispering harshly to Thea.

He didn’t bother going back to bed. That was futile, but he did decide to go for a run.

After changing into sweats and a cotton top, Oliver headed out of the house, running around the neighbourhood. He was trying to burn off excess energy, hopefully so he would be able to turn off his mind and just rest for once.

It didn’t work. He ran for hours but now he was showered and in bed. All he could hear was the silence he was so unaccustomed to, and the beating of his heart in his ear where it was squashed against the pillow. 

Oliver laid there for three hours until he finally gave up and removed the bag from under his bed. He changed into the dirtied street clothes and pulled the backpack over his shoulder.

Like the last time, he took some money and food and water with him, and he snuck out into the foyer. “Ollie?” A voice asked. He spun around, guilt washing over his face. Thea was standing on the staircase, looking like she was ready for a night out. “Don’t leave.” She said, emotion cracking her voice.  
“What?”  
“You’re leaving. Please don’t leave.” Tears flowed freely as Thea rushed over to where her brother was stood by the front door.  
“I’ll be back in the morning.” He said, stroking her hair as she hugged him tightly.  
“Where are you going?” Thea looked up at him, and suddenly she was twelve again and he was leaving to go on the Queen’s Gambit with their father.  
“I’m taking your advice. I’m gonna try sleeping.”  
“Outside? Dressed like you’re homeless?”  
“Yeah. I just… I can’t sleep here. I slept on the street a few nights ago. I actually slept.”  
“Oh.” His words took her breath away. Oliver could see it on her face, she blamed herself. “Can I come?” Thea asked.  
“What? No, you can’t come. It’s too dangerous Thea. You should just go have your night out and I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”  
“It’s not too dangerous for you.”  
“I’m sorry Speedy. It’s cold and… I sleep in the Glades. It’s not safe.” Oliver said. When he said the Glades, she was scared and then she was sad and then she understood. He could see her face go through all of those emotions, one after the other. “Have fun.” He kissed the top of her head, let her go and then left the Queen manor.

His trip to the Glades was quicker because he knew the layout better, had studied it on the computer in his father’s old office at the house.

Oliver made it to one of the smaller camps Digg and City had told him about. It was quiet, and most people were already asleep by the time he got there. Oliver found a spot under the bridge next to a kid in a red hoodie.

As he sat down and took his bag off, the kid turned to him. “You’re new.” He said.  
“Tommy King.” Oliver extended his hand and the boy shook it.  
“Roy Harper. You look pretty strong there Tommy King.” Roy commented.  
“It’s a tough world Roy, you gotta get strong so it doesn’t beat you down.” Oliver said and Roy nodded at his words.  
“But you’re still here.”  
“Here as in alive or here as in sleeping under a bridge?” Oliver asked.  
“Both. Let’s make a deal Tommy King.”  
“What kind of deal?” He asked intrigued.  
“Protection for food. You protect me and I know a few fast food places that throw out their food at the end of everyday. I’m friends with some of the people that work there, they save the food for me sometimes. You interested?” Roy asked. Oliver wasn’t really. He didn’t need food and he didn’t need trouble.  
“Are you expecting a fight Roy?”  
“There’s a few guys from my past looking for me. That gonna be a problem?”  
“Nope.” Oliver extended his hand again, and realised that even if he didn’t need the food, Roy was barely older than Thea and he didn’t deserve to be beaten up. Oliver would protect the kid. Roy shook his hand and smiled.  
“Great. I’ve got a chicken burger or some fries. Take your pick.” Roy held the food out in each hand.  
“I’m not hungry right now, I… ate at a shelter before I got here. You should eat.” Oliver said. Roy shrugged and then started to eat.

Oliver laid down, scanning the area before closing his eyes. In another life, a boy like Roy would hate to admit that he’s weak, but in this one all he wanted was to survive until morning. And if that meant trading food for protection, he would do it.

He was being poked in the ribs with a stick. Oliver snapped the stick and threw himself at the attacker, rolling over so he was on top. “Woah dude! Chill. You’re like a ninja or something I swear.” It was Roy.

Oliver climbed off of the boy and Roy let him pull him up. “I’ve never seen someone sleep so good out here, and still be reactive like that. Not that I’m complaining, I can see that working very well for me.”  
“Why did you try to wake me?” Oliver asked, scrubbing his face with his hand.”  
“It’s almost noon. Everyone else’s moved on. You wanna come with?”  
“Sure, okay.” Oliver said, nodding and picking up his bag, forgetting all about what he’d promised his sister the night before.

Roy talked a lot. It was weird. But Oliver noticed he didn’t talk about anything personal, at all. They walked for a few miles until they got to a park he didn’t recognise. The pair sat on a bench in the park and Oliver pulled out his tin of peaches from his bag. “You wanna share?” He asked Roy.  
“I thought I was meant to be the provider of this relationship.” He joked, a mock-hurt expression on his face. “But yeah, I used to love peaches.”

The older man opened the tin and then took a few pieces out, handing the rest of the tin to Roy. Roy smiled at him and whipped out a pocket knife, stabbing the peach pieces and eating them. “Dude, these are like… high class peaches. They’re so good.” 

Felicity

Clacking of heels on the ground were what woke her. Felicity scrambled backwards in the archway she had been sleeping in that night. “I’m sorry.” It was a girl’s voice, young and sweet. Felicity opened her eyes that had previously been screwed up. “I’m sorry I woke you.” Now Felicity was awake, she could hear the sniffling. The girl was crying. “I’m looking for my brother. He… he left last night and he said he would be back in the morning, but it’s the afternoon and he’s not back.” The girl, she was pretty Felicity realised, sank down onto the ground, dirtying her nice clothes. Her expensive clothes. “His name’s Oliver. Could you… could you help me find him?” Without her authorisation, Felicity’s head started to nod. “Thank you.” The girl wiped her tears and stood up. “My name’s Thea.”  
“People call me City.”  
“Well City, if we find my brother, I’ll buy you lunch, whatever you want.”  
“Sure.” Felicity stood up and gathered her belongings into her backpack. “You have a picture of him?” She asked.

Thea removed a very expensive looking cell phone from her pocket and scrolled through it. She spun the screen around to show Felicity. Felicity’s jaw dropped. Because that was Oliver Queen. And Oliver Queen was Tommy King a.k.a Oliver. “Do you know him?” Thea asked.  
“I do.” Felicity nodded. 

Oliver’s sister, Thea, followed Felicity as they walked down various streets. Every now and then, Felicity would dip down an alley to check in the camps. At first, Thea was scared and didn’t want to follow her down, but after checking several alleys Thea followed Felicity down.

The young girl watched people eating and talking like friends. A lot of them kept to themselves, but there was the odd group. And Thea couldn’t help but think that they made better friends than her private school friends ever did. Maybe this was why Ollie liked it so much.

Felicity was looking for Oliver, but she was also keeping one of her eyes on his little sister, making sure that no one was going to pop out of the shadows and mug her. 

They were sitting in a park. Oliver and Roy Harper. Felicity sighed with relief. Over time, she let the young girl convince her that something was up and Oliver was lying dead in an alley somewhere. Thea ran over to her older brother. “Thea?” Oliver’s eyebrows shot up.


	3. Houses and Yachts

Oliver

Oliver and Roy were just sitting on that bench in the park. They weren’t talking and they had both finished eating the tinned peaches. Oliver was thinking about Laurel and Sara and how he had failed both of them. He betrayed Laurel’s trust because he was scared of commitment and he got Sara killed, twice. And then his thoughts drifted to City.

She looked younger than him but she’d been through so much. He could see it in her eyes when they were at breakfast together. Digg had told him some of the story, but Oliver couldn’t help wondering if they were the same. They both had homes but chose to sleep out in the open. They both chose to go by different names, it was their armour. But despite that, he hoped he could penetrate that armour, not in a sexual way but an emotional one.

He looked up. Someone was running towards him. “Thea?” His sister was standing in front of him, makeup smudged and eyes bloodshot from crying. She was wearing sweatpants and a hoodie. It looked strange not seeing her all made up and looking as pristine as their mother always did. “What are you doing here?” He asked. Thea attacked him with a hug. His muscles tensed and then he wrapped his arms around the shaking girl. He rubbed her back, trying to calm her down.  
“You said you’d be home. You told me you’d come back. But you didn’t. Again.” She was crying into his shoulder.  
“Hey, I lost track of time. I’m sorry, but I was going to come back. I swear I was.” Oliver said, stroking her hair.

Thea pulled back and wiped her eyes, staining her fingers with black. “City?” Oliver said, finally noticing the other girl standing behind his sister.  
“Hi.” She smiled at him.  
“Hey, thanks for looking out for my sister.” He turned back to his sister. “I’m sorry Thea, I didn’t mean to scare you. That’s the last thing I wanted.” He tried to reach out for Thea, but she pulled away. He couldn’t help the hurt that flashed across his face, but he hid it well. It was of his own making after all. He had said he would be home hours ago.  
“You’re never around anymore Ollie. I don’t know what it was like for you on that island, but you’re more like a zombie-you now you’re back. And apparently you can’t sleep unless you’re sleeping on the street. I just don’t get you. You’re not my brother, not really, not anymore.” Thea ran off, crying again.

Oliver bowed his head, trying not to get angry, curling his fists in his lap until they turned white, and then turned to look at Roy. “Go after her, please? Make sure she’s safe?”  
“Sure.” Roy stood up and followed after Thea. Roy had been eyeing him warily, he knew he deserved it though.   
“I don’t know what I was expecting when I met you, but it definitely wasn’t this.” Felicity said, taking Roy’s vacated seat. “You’re a mystery Oliver. You don’t belong at home and you don’t belong on the street. So where do you belong?”  
“Nowhere. Thea’s right, I’m the ghost of her brother. It would’ve been better for everyone if I died out on that yacht.”  
“I think she actually said zombie, not ghost. But you shouldn’t think like that. Take a walk with me?” Felicity stood and offered Oliver her hand. He nodded and took it.

They walked out of the park, heading out of the Glades. Felicity led him to a neighbourhood full of small identical houses all in a row. “That’s where my parents live.” She pointed out one of the houses. It was nice, there was a front yard with blooming flower beds and it looked freshly painted. Oliver looked at the house and then at Felicity. She smiled.  
“Digg said you chose to live on the streets.” He said after a while.  
“I did. Twice. The first time it was because my parents had too many rules. I thought I’d be better off squatting with my boyfriend Cooper.” Oliver’s heart clenched at the mention of her boyfriend. “There were no rules, we could take drugs or have sex and there weren’t any parents around to complain. But then Cooper died.”  
“I’m sorry.” Oliver whispered.  
“He overdosed one night. I woke up to his body laying half over me. It was super disturbing. But I decided I didn’t want to go back. I liked the drugs too much. They helped me forget. Forget Cooper, forget Felicity. And then I almost died. The police found me one night, half-dead. Skin pale and lips blue, the whole nine yards. After… my mum wanted me to move back in but I couldn’t go back. It would’ve been like becoming Felicity again after being City for so long. I just couldn’t. I promised her I would get sober if she would leave me alone. She did. I haven’t spoken to her in over a year. I know it’s my fault, I asked for it, but she agreed too quickly. Sometimes I think that she was grateful to get me out of her life.”  
“I’m sure that’s not true. She probably agreed because it was the only way to get you sober. I’m sure she loves you. And I’m sorry you had to experience all of that. You seem to young to have gone through it.” Oliver reached down and gripped her hand.  
“Everyone has their cross to bear. I assume yours is the island.”  
“It is.” He didn’t want to expand, not yet. And she let him.  
“We should get back to Thea, she was really upset. We’ve actually been looking for you for hours.”  
“I’m sorry.”  
“Tell her that.” Felicity said. 

They walked back to the park to find Roy comforting Thea on the bench they had left. Felicity hung back while Oliver walked over to his sister. “I’m sorry. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to say it enough.” Thea looked up at him. She had sad eyes. It looked like he had broken her, cut her to her core. He couldn’t bear it. The only person he had never wanted to hurt was splitting apart because of him. He should’ve known that she had abandonment issues after he and their father disappeared on the Queen’s Gambit after promising to be gone only a few weeks.

Oliver’s skin itched. His hands started to shake. He tried to count his fingers, touching each to his thumb, trying desperately to dampen his anxiety. But it wasn’t working. His chest started to hurt and he could hear the blood rushing through his head. He was breathing heavily.

They were all there, City gripping onto his arm, Thea holding his face in her palms and Roy standing back, not wanting to get hurt. But it was like he was being suffocated. He was outside but there was no oxygen. They were talking to him, but he couldn’t hear the words, he could only see their mouths moving.

There was fear in Thea’s eyes, and he had put it there. Oliver stumbled backward, ripping himself from their grasps. He couldn’t be near her looking at him like that. “I’ll see you tonight.” He just about choked out, and then he ran off.

Oliver ran for as long and as fast as he could, clawing at his throat to try to breathe. He wanted to scream, but he also didn’t want anybody to stare at him. There was an alley in front of him. Oliver walked down it, pressing both of his palms to the brick wall and trying to slow his breathing. He used the brick to ground him, focusing on staying alive. None of this was going to kill him, he kept repeating in his head.

Felicity

Felicity watched as Oliver had some kind of anxiety attack, she should’ve known better than to touch him. But she was glad he ran instead of hurting someone. Even if it did put a hurt expression on Thea’s face. “I’ll go after him. You should go home Thea.” Felicity said.  
“But… I didn’t buy you lunch.” Thea said, completely shocked at what had just happened. She probably never realised just how affected her brother was.  
“Another time.” Felicity said before hurrying after the older Queen.

She was glad her mother made her run track in high school. She absolutely hated it, but it meant that when she did loose Oliver, it didn’t take too long to catch up to him. 

She found him braced against a wall in an alley. “Oliver?” She asked, not wanting to get too close or reach out and touch him. “Oliver? It’s me, City. Can you hear me?” She took a few cautious steps down the alley.

He whipped his head up, fear glassing over his eyes. But then he took a breath once he recognised her. “It’s just me. You’re safe.” Felicity stood there for a few minutes as she watched most of the tension drain from his body.  
“Why are you here, City?”  
“I wanted to know what the hell that was back there!”  
“It was nothing. It happens sometimes.” He seemed embarrassed.  
“I don’t mean the anxiety attack, I mean bolting like that. You left Thea.”  
“I know. I just couldn’t be there.”  
“I get that feeling, but for family we fight against it.”  
“What? Like you did, you mean?” He said, spitefully.  
“That was hurtful. I didn’t tell you my past for you to throw it in my face.”  
“I know, I’m sorry. I’m different. I can’t be what they all want me to be. I can’t be what Thea wants me to be. I’m the ghost of her brother, remember.” He laughed self-deprecatingly.  
“You only need to be what you want to be. I know you want to be a good brother. Thea told me how you wouldn’t let her stay with you last night because it’s not safe in the Glades.”  
“I can’t be the good brother. I’m too broken. I’m never going to be Ollie Queen again. Not after what happened.”  
“I get it. I’m never going to be able to be Felicity Smoak again.” They had an understanding. “But you don’t have to be Ollie Queen to look after your little sister. She deserves someone who loves her but that someone doesn’t have to be Ollie. It doesn’t even have to be Oliver Queen, it can be Tommy King. That’s a terrible alias by the way. But you have to talk to her. You have to explain this separation or she’ll think that you don’t love her.”  
“But I do.”  
“Exactly.”  
“You’re pretty good at this, you know.” Oliver smirked.  
“Thanks. In another life I was a computer genius, but in this one I’ll take being a counselling genius.” Felicity smiled at him.


	4. Showers and Blankets

Oliver

Oliver left Felicity to head back to the Queen manor. It was the middle of the afternoon so his mother and Walter were at work. He walked back, not stopping in the foyer, wanting to take a shower as quickly as he could.

Despite his lack of interest with Queen Consolidated and the Queen manor since he got back from Lian Yu, Oliver wasn’t petty enough to want to linger in the foyer dressed like he was homeless for anyone to see. It would paint his family, particularly his mother, in a bad light.

He took a shower, revelling in the warmth of it. The main thing he missed was showers, bathing in the sea or in one of the small fresh water ponds on the island was nothing compared to the hot, high pressured jets that massaged his shoulders and scalp. It was heaven.

Once he was dry, he dressed in a shirt and sweater and pressed trousers. He looked like Oliver Queen now. He moved to grab his phone from where he’d abandoned it on the bed but changed his mind at the last minute, he was never one to be addicted to his phone, he’d missed that craze.

Oliver decided now was as good as any time to find Thea for that talk. He talked himself up for it, mentally preparing for the inevitable verbal onslaught Thea would bring.

She was in her room, sitting on her bed with her knees up by her chin. She looked so much younger devoid of makeup, and he could tell she had been crying. When Thea heard him walk in, she looked up. “Ollie?”  
“I’ve come to explain.” Oliver pretended to wave a white flag which made her chuckle and then took a seat on the bed in front of his sister and pulled her hands gently so they were in between them, taking her palms in his. “I spent five years sleeping on the ground. When I got back I was so happy to be home, to be back with you that I forgot that I had been sleeping on the floor for so long. I can’t sleep on that bed, Speedy. I don’t think I can sleep on any bed anymore. It’s too soft and too warm. Everything’s loud here too. Loud with things like phones or computers or televisions. Even when everything’s switched off there’s this hum. Everything was loud there too, but it was loud with the breathing of my friends or the chatter of animals or at some points the waves crashing against the sand. Here is unfamiliar. I couldn’t sleep so I tried going out and sleeping on the street because I thought it would be more familiar, a less harsh version of Lian Yu. And I don’t like being boxed in at night. It freaks me out.”  
“Oh Ollie, I didn’t know.” Thea was back to crying again. “I was just so worried, I thought you were leaving-“  
“That’s another thing we need to talk about. I am never ever going to leave you by choice. Do you understand me Thea?” He rarely called her by her name so she knew it was serious.  
“I do.” She choked. “You never made that clear before, you just kept leaving. Even when you were here you were checked out.”  
“I was exhausted.”  
“But you look better now.” Thea smiled at him.  
“I feel better now.” He smiled back.  
“Can’t we build you a treehouse or something in the backyard so you’re not risking your life every time you feel like you need to sleep?” She begged him, knowing it was futile.  
“I’m sorry Speedy, it’s not the same. I need to be around people. I took a lot of comfort in listening to people’s breathing back on the island. It was a reminder that we were all still alive. And now I feel like I need that reminder far more than I used to.”  
“I think I get it now. I just don’t like the idea that you’re out there and you might not come back.”  
“I’m really sorry for that.” Oliver said solemnly.

He pulled his little sister into his arms, trying to convey just how sorry he was and how much he loved her all at once, but she got it. Thea understood.

“I know you have to go out tonight, but could you just wait until I go to sleep? I think I’ll be less nervous if I’m already sleeping.” Thea said softly.  
“Of course.” They broke apart and Thea climbed into the bed, turning her head to watch her brother. He laid down on the bed next to her, looking at her as he stroked her hair like Raisa used to do to him when he couldn’t sleep as a child.  
“I’m sorry if I made you feel like you aren’t good enough.” She said, closing her eyes. “Because you’re better than enough, you’re my brother. And you’re alive. That’s all that matters.” She fell asleep quickly.

Felicity

Felicity decided that tonight she would try to sleep in one of the camps. She was jumpy around people most of the time, keeping her distance and sleeping alone. But unravelling the mystery that was Oliver Queen made her crave comfort. Preferably from him, but she’d take what she could get. 

The nearest camp was twenty people thick. Her heart started to race and she felt a little faint, but Felicity persisted. She heard a familiar voice. “City! How’ve you been?” It was Digg. She smiled at him and walked over.  
“Better than ever Digg.” She replied, smile finally reaching her eyes for the first time in years.  
“You look pretty happy. I heard about the Queen reunion earlier. You did a good thing guiding that girl back to her brother and protecting her along the way.”  
“Where’d you hear that from?” She asked.  
“From me.” A small figure stood up. Felicity’s smile only grew as she saw Roy in his red hoodie.  
“Is there room for one more?” She felt like the grinch at the end of the movie where his heart grew in size. Oliver Queen was standing at the mouth of the alley looking at the group of misfits.  
“Of course.” Digg said ushering Oliver over to where he and Roy had already dropped their stuff. 

Felicity placed her bag on the floor across from them and took a seat, pulling a bottle of water out to drink. Oliver took a seat next to her and Digg looked at them both knowingly. Oliver took a can of peaches out of his bag and tossed it over to Roy who nodded in thanks. Felicity watched the exchange in admiration. 

Despite having a lot of wealth, Oliver wasn’t trying to pass it out, claiming to be saving them all. Like some rich people did. He was just giving what people would accept; a tin of peaches here, protection from miscellaneous thugs there and his friendship to anyone who spared him the time. 

Night was well and truly upon them. The people in the alley were starting to settle down, their chatter fading out. Roy took to his sleeping bag after sliding the peaches into his backpack. Diggle laid down and pulled a threadbare blanket over himself. And Felicity, she spread her own blanket over herself.

She could’ve laughed at Oliver’s puppy dog eyes, but instead she just lifted a corner of the blanket as an open invitation. Oliver laid down behind Felicity, covering himself with some of the material and wrapping his arms around her. 

She thought she’d panic or at least freeze up. The last man to hold her like this was Cooper, cause that turned out great. But her muscles relaxed under Oliver’s light touch. He placed his hand over hers, interlinking their fingers and his breathing started to steady.

Before she fell asleep herself, Felicity thought ‘He’s Oliver Queen during the day and another man entirely at night, but maybe that’s exactly who he’s supposed to be.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it folks. I've sure enjoyed writing this. It ended up much shorter than I thought it would be but I like the homeless arrow au so maybe I'll write a sequel.


End file.
